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TODDLERS ALLOWED TO MARRY IN ARKANSAS. (AND OTHER INCREDIBLY STUPID STATE LAWS.)

You’ll be happy to know that as of March 2008, toddlers can no longer marry in the state of Arkansas. A change for the better, I’d say. The law that mistakenly allowed anyone – even rugrats – to marry with parental permission was repealed by a measure signed into law in March of this year by Governor Mike Beebe, ending months of embarrassment for the state and confusion for county clerks.

Now that the Arkansas’ marriage-age crisis is over, it’s time to turn our attention to other states and the laws that make them great (or not so great).

To read more dumb laws, click here.

In Alabama, incestuous marriages are legal. However, wearing a fake mustache in church to illicit laughter is illegal (and punishable by law).

In Arizona, it is legal for a man to beat his wife. But it is illegal to beat her more than once a month. (“Wendy, I’m home!”)

In the “old colony” state of Massachusetts, it is illegal to hunt on Sundays. However, it is legal to carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (Go ahead Heathen, make my day.)

In Illinois, it is legal for young women to protest naked in front of city hall as long as they are under 17 years of age and have legal permits. It is illegal, however, for women over 200 pounds (90 kilos) to ride horses in shorts. (a.k.a “The Lady Godiva must lay off the Godivas Law.” For shame Illinois.)

In Michigan, any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony. However, it is illegal for a woman to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission.

In the Big Apple, the New York City Transit Authority has ruled that women can ride the city subways topless. It is illegal, however, for women to sit on a subway bench topless and smoke a cigarette. (Smoking is not allowed in the subways.)

If a police officer approaches a vehicle in Idaho and suspects that the occupants are engaging in sex, he must either honk or flash his lights and wait for three minutes before approaching the car. (Now this law, I like. Good show Idaho!)

There are countless stupid laws on the books (and some pretty controversial ones, as well, i.e. women’s reproductive rights for starters). Check out your state. If you see one you don’t like, write to your legislator and give him/her an earful. Enlist your friends, your neighbors, your town. Who knows, maybe you can effect some change – for the better.

by Jacqueline Stevenson Brand Futurist The Republik Corporal Strategic Ops

FOR GOD’S SAKE! SEPARATE CHURCH AND STATE ALREADY

Where the Reverend Wright went wrong

Do you believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Giver of Life, and the forgiveness of sins? The Reverend Jerimiah Wright, Jr. does and so says he. You know the guy – Our African-American-controversial-pastor du jour and spiritual counsel to presidential hopeful Barak Obama.

Unless you’ve been living under a burning bush, you also know this former Obama advisory board member believes the government of the United States is corrupt, that rich, white men are the root of all evil, and life everlasting can be achieved by ousting Republicans from the White House. And so says he, to his flock of hundreds with unmerciful regularity.

Can I get a witness up in here? Rev. Wright had a couple a zillion when he made his now infamous inflammatory remarks denouncing our government to his congregation at Trinity United Church of Christ on Chicago’s south side; a congregation that happens to include a candidate running for the office of United States president.

Obama made clear that he denounced the good reverend’s remarks of that particular sermon. “The reverend is retiring,” said Obama, a 20-year member of the Wright’s church. “He’s getting on in years.” He just had a bad day. Right? It’s time to forgive the good reverend and move on. After all, isn’t forgiveness what religion’s all about?

Let’s forgive the fact that the Reverend Wright uses his influence and power to propagate politics from his pulpit. (Say that fast five times and you’ve won yourself a communion cracker.) Let’s forgive the fact that he hates rich, white men. Let’s forgive the fact that he hates republicans. Let’s also forgive the fact that in a 2003 sermon he encouraged his congregation and all blacks to “damn America in God’s name” and blamed the U.S. for provoking the 9/11 terrorist attacks by dropping nuclear weapons on Japan in World War II and supporting Israel. Additionally, Wright called America the “number 1 killer in the world” and blamed the country for launching the AIDS virus to maintain affluence at the expense of the Third World. And let’s forgive his sermon where he said the American government lied about inventing the HIV virus as a means of genocide against people of color.

I’ll tell you what’s unforgivable: A religious leader inspiring hate, fear and contempt from a position of power and influence. From a pulpit, no less, to a rapt audience. Take a gander at the youtube video. His congregation was beyond rapt. They looked positively punch drunk. (fyi: be wary of the kool-aid guys).

From my experience, going to church is an uplifting and joyful celebration, full of lovely prose about love and acceptance and forgiveness. Sit, kneel, stand. Sing some catchy tunes about love and acceptance and forgiveness. Worship God followed by: drink coffee and eat bundt cake. If my pastor has a political point of view, I don’t know it. Don’t want to. Amen.

What Obama has said he values most about Pastor Wright is not so much his day-to-day political advice, but rather his sage spiritual counsel. “He’s much more of a sounding board,” said Obama, “to make sure I am speaking truthfully about what I believe as possible and that I’m not losing myself in some of the hype and hoopla and stress that’s involved in national politics.”

Sounding board? I wonder if Obama would be better served seeking advice from Louis Farrakahn, who, by the way, is a longtime friend of … sound the trumpets please … The Reverend Wright. Lord, have mercy.

Lo, there have been many before Wright who have paved the way for preaching politics from the pulpit: Jerry Falwell, Jesse Jackson, the kool aid guy and lest us not forget Pat Robertson. Hell, this guy even ran for president (talk about crossing over).

Here’s my advice to the wrong Reverend Wright and all those of his ilk: Before you cross the threshold of God’s house each Sunday, check your political views (radical, militant, racist and/or otherwise) at the door. And stick to what you know (and what you’ve been called upon to do): Preaching the power of God’s word and uplifting your congregation. ‘nuff said.

p.s.: Forgive me God, for I have penned. But hey, this is an opinion editorial. I welcome your comments.

And now for … A little theological humor…

CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Charismatic (Born Again): Only 1
Hands are already in the air.

Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None
Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Mormons: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

Nazarene: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None
Lutherans don’t believe in change.

Amish:
What’s a light bulb?

by Jacqueline Stevenson Brand Futurist The Republik Corporal Strategic Ops